About Loneliness
Understanding Loneliness
A guide from SUNSHINE — supporting Londoners to feel seen, connected, and valued.
What is Loneliness?
Loneliness is something every one of us feels at times. It’s a natural human emotion — a signal that we need more connection, understanding, or closeness than we currently have.
At its heart, loneliness is the gap between the relationships we have and the relationships we wish we had. Because our needs and experiences are unique, loneliness looks and feels different for everyone.
Not at all. You can feel lonely in a crowded room, in a relationship, within your family, at work, or while scrolling through social media. Loneliness isn’t about the number of people around you — it’s about whether you feel understood, valued, and emotionally connected.
Some people enjoy spending time alone and feel fulfilled. Others may feel lonely even when surrounded by friends. Loneliness can also vary in intensity, shifting from moment to moment or lasting for longer periods.
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Loneliness isn’t one single experience. It can take many forms:
Emotional Loneliness — Missing someone you were deeply connected to, such as a partner, close friend, family member, or even a pet.
Social Loneliness — Feeling you lack a wider circle of friends, neighbours, or colleagues.
Transient Loneliness — A feeling that comes and goes.
Situational Loneliness — Loneliness triggered by certain times or events, such as weekends, holidays, or big life changes.
Chronic Loneliness — Feeling lonely most or all of the time.
Loneliness can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or circumstance. Although it’s often associated with older adults, research shows that 16–24‑year‑olds are currently the loneliest age group in the UK.
A 2023 survey found that 85% of UK adults had felt lonely in the past year, and 44% described their loneliness as chronic.
Some people may be more vulnerable to loneliness, including those who:
Have few or no close relationships
Are single parents or carers
Belong to minority groups or feel “different” from those around them
Face mobility challenges
Have limited financial resources
Experience discrimination or stigma
Have lived through abuse or neglect, making trust and connection harder
There is no single cause. Loneliness often appears during moments of change or stress, such as:
Moving away from home
Starting university or a new job
Becoming a new parent
Experiencing mental health challenges
Going through a breakup
Losing someone you love
Retiring or stepping away from work
Each person’s journey is different, and so are the reasons loneliness shows up.
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Although related, they’re not the same:
Social Isolation is having few social contacts.
Loneliness is how you feel about the connections you have.
You can be isolated without feeling lonely, or feel lonely without being isolated. Many people experience both at different points in their lives.
Loneliness can also create a cycle: the longer it lasts, the more we may withdraw, making connection feel harder. This can affect how we see ourselves and the world. Left unaddressed, long‑term loneliness can contribute to mental health challenges such as anxiety or low mood.
Yes — but the world has changed in ways that make it more common. Humans evolved to feel safest in groups. Being separated from others once signalled danger, triggering stress and hypervigilance.
Today, that biological need for connection remains, but our lifestyles have shifted. More people live alone, communities feel less connected, and many report feeling lonelier now than before the pandemic.
Loneliness itself isn’t a mental health condition. It’s a normal feeling — one that tells us something important about our needs.
However, mental health challenges can make loneliness more likely. When we’re struggling, social situations can feel overwhelming, and reaching out can feel harder.
Research shows that chronic loneliness can affect both mental and physical health. It has been linked to:
Higher risk of heart disease and stroke
Increased likelihood of depression
Cognitive decline
Poor sleep
Higher risk of dementia
Some studies suggest that long‑term loneliness can be as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. If you’ve been feeling lonely for a long time, speaking to your GP can help you access the right support.
There is no shame in feeling lonely. Yet we often use words like “admitting” or “suffering,” which can make loneliness sound like a personal failing. It isn’t.
By talking openly and compassionately about loneliness, we help remove stigma and create a culture where people feel safe to reach out.
Loneliness can feel overwhelming, but small steps can make a big difference. At SUNSHINE, we use a simple three‑part approach to help people begin their journey toward connection:
- Acknowledge loneliness in yourself or others
- Identify what you or they need
- Take the next supportive step
You don’t have to navigate loneliness alone. Explore our three‑step approach to begin reconnecting with yourself, others, and your community.
JOIN us at SUNSHINE, we have programmes and services that could help you get connected, boost your confidence and self esteem and put you on a path to breakdown loneliness.